I don't have to cook for you, but I do give you on a schedule

Every time I pick up a T-shirt, all the issues resolve themselves

Friend girl is a distance learner, but misses classes because of sex

I got a guy with an awesome body to let me go to a rock concert

Blew the guy's mind on the first day of self-isolation, but at least she sucked

Called an ambulance and had a domestic coronavirus test